} Demoralizing or motivation?

Nyahaha, finally had the feeling to update my goddamn blog. It's totally dead. The same goes to me, better off dead. I thought everything was going well in life till yesterday. Pressure, stress coming at one go, why at this time ? It's holidays! Give me a break. I guess, it's just me. My mid-year results was trash, after all my efforts, damn it. Been staying home the whole week or more than that, for some reason. Yet, seems like that somebody don't really know why. Sometimes keeping quiet isn't a way, learned it through the hard way. Arguing doesn't solve anything, we just got the better of it but leading to a much worst scenario. Anger overwhelmed me, change is the word!
Anyway, I got a pimple at the side of my nose. The biggest one I've ever got. Should get some treatment for my face. P/s. It hurts! Gahhhh!

} Outing with deargirl! Nomnom at desertstory ^_^
Love durian snow ice to the max

} Cam-whoring before heading out.

} Grandpa's birthday celebration,
Nomnom at Swensens! :D

} Shopping with mum~

Hey, (':
200'520'10. I'll remember that day forever. It was the happiest day of my life.
Meeting someone I love so deeply. Never forgotten. The memories (:
P/s. I love you.
Somethings are gone and never come back. Other find it so easy to move on.
Not for me. Happy 1 year. I'll love you like I always do. <3

||

} What are words if you really don't mean them when you say them
What are words if they're only for good times than they don't
When it's love, yeah, you say them out loud, those words
They never go away, they live on, even when you're gone.

Every single promise i'll keep.

不要和我谈爱情, because to me you people are nothing but liars.

Have you ever had a taste of being played around like a puppet, without even knowing.

And when you found out, you seem like you've just fallen from the highest point to the ground.
You just feel so broken.
Have you ever been betrayed by your closest friend that you thought wouldn't even if everyone on earth did so.
Have you ever felt so lost in life that you think everything just seems so blur and distant from you.
To me, playing around with others feeling is what an asshole would do. If love isn't a game why are there so many players, cherish each other more because one day you'll realise how important they are when you lost them. Uphold your promises and meant what you say, never treat it like nothing. Because to someone it does mean everything. Don't promise something you know you can't fulfill. Stop lying, liars. 

Fuck life.

Life's not fun if its suppose to be like this. If everyday's routine were to be the same, I rather quit school and enjoy life. If school were to bring me so much agony I rather be an idiot in the mental hospital. If studying was suppose to kill me, than I rather die. But if I were to die, It's thanks to you. Who?
My mother. The one who had me for 10months suffering in her stomach and its just a wrong decision to give birth to me. Who says why she is suffering for such a fucked up daughter. Who says i'm an idiot yet wants me to study. Who shouts like a crazy women whenever she likes. Who threaten to beat me whenever I lost my control to argue with her. Who thinks i'm suppose to stand there like a punching bag for her to slap and hit without moving. And to keep quiet when she goes on with her unreasonable words. To force me to do something I don't like and control my life like i'm worst off than a pet. This is what she emphasis as " caring ".
I'm not a robot. I've my feelings and my thinkings. I know what I wanna do. I don't need you to remind me in this manner. Yeah, I tried so hard to ignore all this. But I can't. I didn't thought of not studying I just want to do so not in the stressful manner. Why am I spending time to watch tv rather than study and complete my homework when I've free time, because that's me. I like it this way. I want to enjoy my life and study at the same time. I don't want to be so fucking lifeless, I tried to be so cheerful, but how? When life starts showing me that it's wrong, I can't make it right.

P/s. I love you.

Day out with my girl ^-^

Day out with my girl on her birthday ^-^

How sweet she is feeding me! HAHAHA

This girl of mine, spent her birthday with me. She's officially announced 15 on 21st Nov. ^-^ ( YAY )
Didn't get to buy a cake for her, but I promise I'd make up for it one day.
Dear girl, you're 15. A year older than me. Sort out your mind soon, take a break if you need. I'd be here. Don't know why but, no matter how far we are, we'll still be comforting each other, whenever either one of us needs someone, we'd be there for each other pouring out our sorrows. I love her for she always tells me encouraging words and sometimes give me a brainwash and a calm heart to sort out thinkings. Let me feel less afraid of what's gonna happen next. Okayzxcs, I think I'll stop this mushy mushy talk here! He he.
Love. Will update soon with pictures taken on my birthday!
I'm 14! Ho ho ho. Finally. Good night readers.

All the things you never knew

Such a fucked up day today. Regarding the job was a total mess. Ended up so called negotiating with the boss to get our pay, I was on the verge to shout at him. He seem like an idiot. I swear. Those girls that went today can vouch for it. And again came home, got my day more fucked up. Quarreled with my mum. Don't wish to elaborate anymore. And after that, I calm down after hours. Went to my girl's house, had pizza and sleep. Chilled out already. Grandma continued those topic about the stuffs that happened today. Talking to me about my mum and stuffs. But the problem is, if you guys are not around when the situation why not keep mum. Because you don't understand the whole situation yet you start commenting on it. It's not that it's wrong. But it's inappropriate. Than what for you've to be so sarcastic ? Asking me " Mum and sist is going out later on together, you tagging along? " I said no yet must you still say " even you wanna go they also don't wish that you'll go along. " How much more fucked up. Thanks for everything really, I thought family would be the closest bond we'd have in this life, I THOUGHT. I thought that they'll be the one helping you out with problems, yet what I experience wasn't this. I THOUGHT again. Forget it. You guys will never understand.

我也不想这样..

Genting Trip pictures. For more, go to my facebook. ^-^

Recently, life's been disastrous for me. One word can define my life now, " sucks "

Enjoyed my trip to genting a lot, I've enjoyed myself, because somehow it brought my attention from my disastrous life to only fun. I know it's only running away from reality. Somehow I got my break, but after coming back, I've to still face this life of mine. Yesterday was totally fucked up. I don't love him, but the memories just haunts me for a sec. But i'm gonna be fine, it's been so long after all. 哭过就算了.

Now, I'm so afraid to love others. Tired and scare after all I've been through. I can't sort out my thoughts really that well, it's just a piece of mess. Undone, yet I'm mentally worn out to sort it out. Crying helps a lot, I want to do so.. ): 你知道我不是故意的吗？体谅我好吗? 我很自私, 也没想到你体谅我, 那谁来体谅你呢, 算了吧. 等我心情平静一点. Don't be mistaken for I don't love him any longer. Sigh, I'm off from here for now.

P/s. I love you.